Marketing experts want you to think there is a formula to loving yourself. That’s how they profit from you. You will continue to buy makeup, expensive clothes, phones, cars, memberships at their gym, etc. And while none of those things are inherently bad, they do become dangerous when they’re attached to a message that says This is the key. This is the answer. This is what has been missing from your life. This is why you are not good enough. This will fix you.
You cannot be fixed. Because you are not broken. Maybe you feel broken. Maybe you’ve been through things that almost broke you. Maybe you’ve been through some serious, horrible things that were beyond not fair and were definitely not your fault. And that seriously hurts. But you’re still here, you’re still breathing. You are evolving, growing, fighting, hanging on (even if barely), daring yourself to keep going.
Understand that loving who you are is a process, a lifestyle, a way of looking at the world. It’s not something other people can beat you at. It’s not a race, or a place you’ll get to with your next promotion, your next accomplishment, your next significant other. Loving yourself is a state of being. It’s not about being immune to criticism, doubt, rejection, judgment, or insecurity. It’s about learning to keep going in spite of those things.
Understand that much of the time, loving yourself comes from facing the things that make you feel the insecure, scared, uncertain about yourself and any (or all) of your capabilities. The times I’ve felt the most uncomfortable and uneasy with myself (starting a business, doing standup comedy, public speaking, to name a few) were also the times in my life that I experienced the most growth, the most enjoyment, the greatest amount of contentedness in spite of my stress, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy. Accepting that you are an imperfect human doing the best you can with the gifts and talents you have is Enough. Love that you are Enough and go from there.
Life becomes a whole lot easier when you understand that you are not in competition with everyone around you, that they are no closer to reaching self-acceptance and self-love than you are – simply because that’s impossible, because self-love is not a place or location or milestone. Self-love is a point of view, a mindset; it is journey. You are Enough. You matter. Accept that and be set free.