Starting Couples Therapy:
What to Expect (California & Oregon)
Starting couples therapy can feel like a big step. If you’re wondering what to expect, how the process works, or whether it’s the right fit, you’re not alone.
I offer online couples therapy throughout California and Oregon, along with in-person sessions in Santa Monica and Los Angeles, to help couples better understand their relationship and create meaningful change.
The Couples Therapy Process
Session 1 – Understanding Your Relationship
We meet together to explore your relationship’s strengths, challenges, and goals.
Sessions 2 & 3 – Individual Conversations
Each of you has a one-on-one session with me. This allows us to dive into your personal histories, attachment styles, and any past experiences that might be shaping your relationship today.
Session 4 – Insights and Next Steps
We come back together to connect the dots, gain new insights, and decide on the best path forward.
This process isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about building a deeper understanding of your relationship and creating meaningful change. If this sounds like the right fit for you, let’s talk about how to get started.
What to Expect from Couples Therapy
Include:
- It’s not about blame
- It’s structured but supportive
- Progress takes time
- Both partners are heard
Common Issues We Work Through
- Communication – feeling heard/getting your needs met through compassionate listening
- Sexual disconnect or dissatisfaction, infidelity
- Parenting style differences
- Feeling respected/feeling cherished/feeling loved/feeling worthy
- In-laws involvement
- Unhealthy fight cycles
- Emotional regulation
- Money matters
Recommended Reading for Couples
- Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson.
- Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships by Dr. Sue Johnson.
- Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy for Dummies by Brent Bradley, PhD, and James Furrow, PhD
- The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships by Diane Poole Heller and Peter Levine
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes—online couples therapy has been shown to be highly effective and uses the same evidence-based approaches as in-person sessions.
Many couples find that meeting from home actually helps them feel more comfortable and open during conversations. Online sessions also make it easier to stay consistent, which is an important part of making progress.
I offer online couples therapy throughout California and Oregon, making it easier to access support no matter where you’re located.
Every couple is different, but many begin to notice meaningful shifts within the first 8–20 sessions.
The initial assessment process (the first four sessions) is designed to give us a clear understanding of your relationship dynamics and create a strong foundation for the work ahead. From there, the length of therapy depends on your goals, the challenges you’re facing, and the pace that feels right for both of you.
It’s very common for one partner to feel unsure about starting couples therapy. This hesitation often comes from uncertainty about what to expect or concerns about being blamed or misunderstood.
Couples therapy is not about taking sides—it’s about understanding the patterns between you. If your partner is hesitant, it can help to frame therapy as a space to improve communication and gain clarity, rather than to assign fault.
If needed, we can also talk through ways to approach the conversation so it feels more comfortable for both of you.
You don’t need to prepare anything formal before your first session. The most helpful thing is to come with an open mind and a willingness to talk honestly about your experience.
During Session 1 – Understanding Your Relationship, we’ll explore your relationship’s strengths, challenges, and goals together. You may find it helpful to reflect ahead of time on what feels most important to address, but there’s no pressure to have everything figured out. The process is designed to guide you step by step.